When you go to the grocery store, there’s one question that you’ll most certainly be asked: “Did you find everything you were looking for today, sir”? (Or “madam” if you’re one of those people).
The answer they’re looking for is, of course, a short and concise “yes”. It is not a trick question. This even goes if you’re shopping at a place like “Howard’s House of Milk and Cheese” and they happened not to stock milk nor cheese that day.
However, I don’t answer “yes”. I answer something like: “No, actually, you used to carry these orangutan-flavored popped chips from Botswana awhile back, but I just can’t seem to find them in the aisle where they used to be located”.
If you’re in a normal grocery store, the response will be the rolling of the eyes, the incoherent mumbling, followed by getting you out of there in a timely manner (this is according to their perception of time, which is different from yours). You might also have the honor of being mentioned in the back during lunch break in conversations featuring huffs and puffs and “can-you-believe-some-people” tirades!
If you’re in a good grocery store, however, that check-out clerk will be on the next plane to Botswana to make sure this matter is looked into thoroughly. And they will report back to you (albeit at a later time, I suppose, what with the time difference and all). They’ll have a long-winded explanation in which the words “orangutan” and “endangered” will crop up in the same sentence. At least they’re doing what they can and they might even look into getting the orangutans off that whatchamacallit list. Just for you.
That’s the kind of grocery store I need - that level of service. I need it. Sure, the prices are ridiculously high in places like that. After all, they do somehow need to finance those excursions to the African continent.
But it’s so worth it! Trust me.
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